Trashed again: I had to send my Xbox 360 to rehab
I’m a total Xbot.
I will be a fanboy of the Xbox 360 until the day Xbox New rises to power. Then, despite all of what I’m about to discuss, I will purchase Xbox New and 3 games on launch day.
But, that out of the way, let me tell you a little story about the piece of crap that is the Xbox 360:
Pinned down behind a column with blue sniper rifle bolts zipping by every time I peak out, my peaceful, strategic thoughts were about to be slapped in the face by fear.
The gorilla-like behemoth with the huge hammer and the elaborately-adorned armor appeared at the horizon of the staircase and bellowed that he had found me. Already stingy from the sniper fire, I knew I was a sitting duck and tried to maneuver out of harm’s way.
My jump and his swift hammer strike sent me careening off my little Ledge of Safety and into the sharply-toothed mouth of hell.
Now surrounded by all manner of enemies in various states of rage and health thanks to my previous attacks, I realized facing hammer dude wasn’t that bad of an option.
This is but a moment, a snippet of what Halo 3: ODST’s Firefight has to offer. Halo’s weapons, enemies, universe, controls and combat are ingredients for a near-perfect Horde-mode.
The waves of enemies range from the low end of easy to the high end of intense. Every experience is different, and I haven’t even suited up with friends yet to take on the missions as a team.
There’s a good reason for that.
I open fire in an attempt to take some of the swarming mass of enemies with me to my grave, the screen stutters into a collection of black and white boxes and rectangles with splashes of color and distorted-looking enemies.
I can’t move, not because I’m dead – although that moment was fast approaching – but because my system had locked up. Every piece of computer equipment is allowed to get a hiccup, as long as they kick them quickly.
This Xbox 360, however is not like the others. Microsoft had to extend the warranty on some failures because they were so widespread.
This box was poorly made. It’s a shame, because the controller, the Xbox Live Marketplace, everything about it makes the Xbox the Next Gen system that everyone wanted.
The system is the one that everyone but the hard-line Sony folks, develops for and develops for first. So there are a ton of must-play games on 360.
Unfortunately, you can’t always play them.
After trying a number of fixes – pressing and holding every button on the controller, including the guide button – I ejected my desk and pushed the power button.
Fully expecting to see the dreaded red ring of death system failure alert on the front of the box when I restarted it, I was relieved it wasn’t there.
But my relief was quickly replaced with various other emotions as it locked up again and again. It didn’t matter what game I was playing – at times it locked up on the system’s menu screens without a game in the DVD drive.
So, I’m sending my 360 in for repair. It’s not covered under warranty because I didn’t get those three little lights.
I have to pay out of pocket, and the worst part is that it likely won’t be back in time for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.
I could have bought another one but that would have been ludicrous.
I had to send my first 360 back for repair. When that one started freezing before a gaming session with my friends, I purchased a new one, with the newer, better chipset. That’s the one that’s broke now.
Go to the online forums and you’ll find stories of people who have gone through 7, 8, 9 Xbox 360s. But, unlike a couple years ago when I sent my first one back, you don’t see people saying they still have their launch box and haven’t had a problem.
Think about how much extra money Microsoft made by pairing a faulty system with impatient gamers who have extra money.
Again, ludicrous.
But, despite all this, the day my 360 returns from hopefully it’s last day at that Texas hospital for consoles, I will plug it in, load up some ODST Firefight, or Bioshock and be content that I just gave Microsoft $100 more.
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